


The Egbert Report

by rosemarinae



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, Multi, no CWs, tags removed to stop searching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:54:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22170298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosemarinae/pseuds/rosemarinae
Summary: June and Kanaya have a podcast. It's been going on for a long-ass time. Its permanent name doesn't matter, but today it is... the Egbert Report. Listen (and by listen I mean read, there's no actual voice acting) as your favorite characters talk to each other about each other in podcast format. It doesn't even get meta, I promise. Okay, not *that* meta.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 68
Collections: June Egbert Jam





	The Egbert Report

**Author's Note:**

> a trillion thanks to:  
kapbird  for beta reading (and coming up with the name Egbert Report itself! it's such a good goof, thank you so muchfor helping me brainstorm!!!!)  
tragiccoyote  for betaing as well! unfortunately he did not contribute any epic goofs but he did remind me that the sufferer was, in fact, not nailed to a cross exactly like jesus. i know my ancestors *so well,* you guys.

JUNE: okay, okay, listen.  
KANAYA: Im Listening  
JUNE: you really gotta pay close attention here.  
KANAYA: My Hear Ducts Are Wide Open  
JUNE: i just really need to make sure you’re considering everything i’m saying here from an unbiased perspective.  
KANAYA: I Am Judging Your Every Word Objectively Without Emotion  
JUNE: okay. good. thank you.  
JUNE: i think that, for today’s episode, we should give our content the respect it deserves.  
JUNE: i think we need to be academic, intelligent, and concise, just like the topics we cover.  
KANAYA: Yes Of Course  
JUNE: i think, no, i know what we have to do.  
JUNE: we’ve gotta bring modern newscasting to our show.  
JUNE: today, we’ll be... the egbert report.  
KANAYA: Why Did You Say It Like That  
KANAYA: Egg Bear  
JUNE: no, it’s, like, a show. there was this one guy on earth a, and he had all these funny things to say about american politics. except he acted like he was serious the whole time.  
KANAYA: Oh So You Want Us To Do The Same Thing We Do All The Time Then  
JUNE: what? no. you don’t understand.  
JUNE: it’s like our regular gossip is news, and that’s the funny bit.  
KANAYA: Yes And Its Made Infinitely Funnier By You Explaining The Joke To Me Someone Who Doesnt Even Have The Foundation Required For Half Of The Things You Say  
JUNE: okay, fine. i think i see your point.  
JUNE: i have a proposition for you, then.  
JUNE: so that this can be a multicultural experience for all of our listeners.  
JUNE: we’re going to have a bit of a competition.  
KANAYA: Oh One Of Your Famous Competitions  
KANAYA: Im Sure Youre Definitely Going To Win This Time  
JUNE: hey, you don’t even know what the rules are yet!  
JUNE: we’re gonna try to hold to the “news caster” schtick for as long as possible.  
JUNE: first person to break character has to... oh, i don’t know, do something dave tells us to?  
KANAYA: Truly These Are The Highest Stakes Yet  
JUNE: you don’t know the half of it.  
JUNE: i’m still banned from three bars in can town thanks to strider dares.  
KANAYA: I Suppose Its A Competition Then  
KANAYA: Will We Be Informing Our Dear Brother In Law Of This Game  
JUNE: of course not! what would be the fun in that?  
KANAYA: Youre Right As Always June  
KANAYA: What Was That Fake Made Up Meter Employed By You And Your Ecto Lusus Called  
KANAYA: Jokesters Gamble  
JUNE: prankster’s gambit! it’s not fake, it’s a very real and scientific system!  
KANAYA: Yes Yes Your Comedians Gumshoe Is Off The Charts  
JUNE: very funny. alrighty, then, shall we get into it?  
KANAYA: I Believe Now Is As Good A Time To Start As Ever  
KANAYA: That Is A Terrible Time Because I Still Think This Is One Of Your More Lackluster Themes  
JUNE: quiet! okay, ahem.  
JUNE: i’m your anchor woman, june egbert, and this is my partner in crime, kanaya maryam.  
KANAYA: And A Partner In Other Things  
JUNE: news people don’t flirt, kanaya.  
KANAYA: Maybe Yours Dont ;)  
JUNE: a-anyway, tonight on the agenda we’ll have our standard segments- the spider bite corner, live weather fore casting, standard derse drama- and then we’ll have a nice talk about, uh,  
JUNE: ms. maryam, what exactly were we inviting dave on to talk about?  
KANAYA: I Believe He Said He Wanted To Talk About Politics  
JUNE: oh god.  
KANAYA: Ahem  
JUNE: i mean, uh, how intriguing! you can catch all that and more in the hours ahead! stay tuned!  


A theme begins to play. Although one would struggle to assign it a genre, it can be said for certain that this is *not* something one would associate with a news program. It honestly sounds like something of Dave’s creation- however, before much more pondering can occur, it comes to a close. June begins to speak, this time with an air of professionality not found mere moments ago.  


JUNE: welcome back to the egbert report. i’m your anchorwoman for this evening, june egbert.  
KANAYA: And I Am Your Anchortroll Kanaya Maryam  
JUNE: first up tonight is our weekly report on our resident manic pixie dream girls, terezi pyrope and vriska serket.  
JUNE: what exactly have they been up to since our last check-in, ms. maryam?  
KANAYA: Well June Theyve Done Nothing Surprising  
KANAYA: By That I Mean They Have Acted Exclusively In The Most Inane Ways Imaginable  
JUNE: please do elaborate.  
KANAYA: Well You See There Have Been Several Bank Robberies In New Seattle As Of Late  
KANAYA: Eyewitness Reports Describe Two Grinning Masked Bandits Running Past Security Cameras  
KANAYA: Apparently These Mysterious Criminals Have Knowledge Of The Banks Layouts As Well As The Ability To Guess Combinations Instantly  
KANAYA: Of Course After Unlocking The Vault Doors The Bandits Have A Habit Of Blasting A Hole Open With Various Dangerous Weaponry Regardless  
KANAYA: It Is Truly A Mystery As To Who These Robbers Could Be But Some People Myself Potentially Included Are Beginning To Speculate That It Could Be Famous Gods Vriska And Terezi  
KANAYA: Of Course There Is Only Minimal Evidence Of This  
KANAYA: We Truly Could Never Know For Sure  
KANAYA: Back To You June  
JUNE: really sounds like a pickle, kanaya! hope the police c-  
JUNE: (oh god kanaya do i really have to say this)  
KANAYA: (Yes You Must Otherwise You Forfeit The Competition)  
JUNE: (i hate you so much)  
KANAYA: (You And I Both Know Our Relationship Is Far From Pitch)  
JUNE: hope the... police catch them as soon as possible. of course.  
JUNE: onto the weather! ms. egbert, if you may?  
KANAYA: (Did You Just Call For Yourself)  
JUNE: thanks, june. we’ve got lots of sun shine coming up on tuesday over the west coast of north america- kanaya, the picnic with rose is tuesday, right?  
KANAYA: Its On Wednesday Darling  
JUNE: my most sincere of apologies. it will be sunny on wednesday, then- tuesday will be a thunder storm. gotta hit that quota, y’know?  
JUNE: let’s see. i think a cold front is gonna be coming in, uh, right about here? yeah, right here. and that means a warm front will probably form over there.  
KANAYA: June  
JUNE: not now, i’m busy informing the people. i think it’ll be rainy for the next few days up here, though it’ll be a nice warm rain. probably gonna be humid after wards, i’d imagine?  
KANAYA: June Darling  
JUNE: yeah i dunno. maybe i’ll just kinda put it on auto pilot?  
KANAYA: June This Show Does Not Have Any Sort Of Visual Component  
JUNE: i- oh. yeah, i suppose it doesn’t.  
JUNE: it’s just that heavenly inscrutability, y’know?  
JUNE: we can’t tell everyone everything, that would be too easy.  
KANAYA: Does That Not Go Against Your Personal Code Of Operation As A Weatherwoman  
JUNE: i don’t know how it was on alternia, but on the original earth the weather people were wrong almost all of the time.  
JUNE: they would just give chances for rain and stuff, and when it turned out to not rain, they’d say “oh, well, y’know, it was only a ninety per cent chance!” and then you wouldn’t even get to be mad at them, because they weren’t technically wrong!  
KANAYA: On Alternia Weather Was Controlled To Systemically Target Lowblood Settlements  
KANAYA: We Didnt Even Have Acid Rain Naturally It Was A Corporate Invention  
KANAYA: But Yes We Can Both Agree That Weather Humans Slash Trolls Are Total Bullshit  
JUNE: ha ha, that’s absolutely horrible! back to you, june.  
JUNE: great work, june.  
JUNE: coming up next: dirk strider, at it again? stay tuned to find out!  


The theme plays again. However, it cuts out abruptly at roughly five seconds in- you pause to check the episode number. Four hundred and twelve- in that many episodes, they haven’t figured out how to do a fade out. Inspiring. You press play.  


JUNE: and many thanks to crocker corp for reaching out to us for this episode!  
KANAYA: Yes Theyve Generously Offered Many Boonbucks For Us To Promote Their Products  
JUNE: and we, of course, said no!  
JUNE: we aren't taking your blood money, jane.  
KANAYA: Also This Is A Post Scarcity Society And We Are Literally Gods So Im Not Sure What You Were Trying To Accomplish By Leveraging What Is Essentially Pocket Change  
JUNE: this episode also sponsored by the karkat vantas 2020 campaign! “remember: no matter the year, karkat can still win!”  
JUNE: (this message not sponsored by karkat vantas. i would know, i asked.)  
JUNE: time to read a fan-submitted message! this one here from a ms. swifer eggmop reads-  
KANAYA: Swifer If You Wanted Us To Read Something You Could Have Just Asked Me At Work  
JUNE: ahem, ms. eggmop says:  
JUNE: “I’ve been followin’ your show on the radio for just under a sweep now, and I just gotta say that I’m flabbergasted you all have kept up the quality for so long! It’s always been great to kick back after a long day in the caves and listen to an old episode from the boss and ‘er girlfriend! S’ a real treat, but sometimes I want somethin’ more. Maybe give yer ol’ pal Swifer a guest slot one day, eh?”  
KANAYA: Swifer Im Serious You Can Just Talk To Me We Would Love To Have You On The Show  
KANAYA: You Dont Have To Bother With All The Theatrics We Are Literally Real Life Friends  
KANAYA: Come On  
JUNE: that wraps up our ad break! see you all in a second, with more of the egbert report!  
KANAYA: Your Last Name Sounds Awful When You Say It Like That  


The theme cuts back in from where it left off, and it’s like ten decibels louder than either of the podcast’s hosts. Who the hell mixed this, a grub? Right when you turn the volume down, it cuts back out again, and June and Kanaya’s voices are too quiet to hear. Fantastic. You turn the volume back up.  


JUNE: -elcome back to the nightly news. i’ll now be handing things off to my lovely co-host to hear all the latest information on strider shenanigans! kanaya, if you would?  
KANAYA: Yes June There Is Certainly A Level Of Tomfoolery About Dirk Striders Life Right Now  
KANAYA: On A Recent Episode Of His Hit Show With Jake English That I Do Not And Will Not Recall The Name Of He Let Something Slip That Startled Some Viewers  
KANAYA: Please Play The Audio Excerpt  


The audio appears to be recorded from an external source. Is that a washing machine running in the background? It’s tough to hear what Dirk’s saying, but you decide to risk hearing loss and turn the volume up to hopefully catch a few words. 

DIRK: -nd I was saying to the guy, fuck, dude, what’s the deal with airplane food?  


Thunderous applause. Literally, you thought it was thunder at first. Your poor inner ear.  


DIRK: Thank you, thank you everypony.  


Everything goes quiet, if you could call the thumping of the still-unknown device quiet.  


DIRK: Uh, we’re having some technical difficulties. Pretty sure Jake accidentally fried the cameras again.  
DIRK: He must’ve tried to recreate the underwater scenes from Avatar 2 again.  
DIRK: God, he’s such a Spike.  


A gasp can be heard amongst the crowd.  


DIRK: I mean, uh, see you after the break.  


Kanaya’s voice, subtle yet charming as it tends to be, startles you as the podcast cuts back from the recording. Your hand never even left the volume button, and you turn it back down.  


KANAYA: According To Post Analysis Mr Strider Was Making Reference To An Old Human Show Entitled “My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic”  
KANAYA: June Could You Please Tell Us More About This Old Earth Cartoon Series  
KANAYA: Ive Heard Youre Quite Acquainted With It  
KANAYA: Im Very Curious As To Who Or What A Spike Is In This Context  
JUNE: (kanaya, i can’t do this.)  
KANAYA: (If I Recall June This Was Your Idea)  
JUNE: (you cannot expect me to read off things about bronies in a serious news caster tone. i can’t do it!)  
KANAYA: (Its What You Must Do To Be A Proper Anchorwoman)  
JUNE: (fuck, i’ll try. just for you.)  
JUNE: yes, ms. maryam, dirk was, in his past, what is known as a “brony.” they appear to be adult male fans of the show you j-  
JUNE: ahem.  
JUNE: they’re adult male fan of the show you just mentioned. dirk was one in his youth, and, apparently, still likes the show!  
KANAYA: Yes Its Clear The Not Actually Elder Strider Still Harbors Fondness For These Cartoon Horses  
KANAYA: Please Ms Egbert Could You Inform Us All About This Spike  
KANAYA: What Significance Do They Hold To The Narrative  
JUNE: i-  
JUNE: i-  
JUNE: goddammit.  


June erupts into a fit of laughter. It’s infectious- you can’t help but chuckle along. Clearly, neither can Kanaya- you can hear her quietly exhaling air into the mic, a silent laugh. Strangely, this part seems to have a more pristine quality than everything so far- whoever mixed this really wanted to get this part right, maybe? Before you can look up the audio credits, the conversation resumes.  


JUNE: okay, okay. yeah.  
KANAYA: So Youve Lost Then  
JUNE: yeah, i lost. and before we could even get to dave, too! this sucks.  
KANAYA: I Guess Well Just Have To Ask Him At The End Of The Show  
JUNE: oh god, i forgot about that.  
JUNE: okay, well, speaking of dave, i think we’re ready to get him on!  
JUNE: introducing this episode’s special guest, dave strider!  


A brief pause occurs. Suddenly, with the microphone quality of a six-year-old on XBOX Live, Dave’s voice cuts in. 

DAVE: yo  
DAVE: how we doin party people  
DAVE: that was probably the wrong choice of words im pretty sure you two and rose are like the least partyesque people i know  
DAVE: partyless people  
DAVE: antiparty people  
DAVE: antipartycles  
KANAYA: Thank You For That Dave  
DAVE: any time  
JUNE: so, dave, before we get into your main segment, could we get your opinion on the stuff with your brother?  
DAVE: oh god you mean the mlp stuff  
DAVE: yeah okay im gonna be real i knew about all that beforehand but we had like the strider bro code of silence keeping me from talkin about it  
DAVE: we all got stuff in our past we dont want to get out yknow and i was not gonna fling myself onto the frying pan to get him in the fire  
DAVE: and thats still my current stance on it if i cover this too much hes gonna retaliate with my own past and present exploits and that is not happening under any fuckin circumstances  
DAVE: derse kids got our family secrets, its mutually assured destruction  
DAVE: no desks to get under this time its just us standing out in the wide open ready to get a russian tsar bomba dropped on us if we so much as throw a grenade in the other persons direction  
DAVE: so to circle way back around yeah im gonna have to say no comment on that one  
KANAYA: For Someone With “No Comment” You Sure Seemed To Say Quite A Bit  
JUNE: yeah, dave, it kinda seems like you wanna spill the beans.  
DAVE: what i want and what i can afford are two very different things june  
DAVE: theres lots of brony lore im intimately familiar with thanks to growing up with a terrifying alternate version of the man but i dont just drop that shit for nothing  
JUNE: hmmmm. if you say so.  
JUNE: guess we’ll have to move on, then. so, dave, what was it you wanted to talk about, exactly?  
DAVE: im so glad you asked ok so basically i was surfing the web recently right which is totally a thing people say in 2021 but anyway i was looking over karkats shoulder and i saw some dipshit going around calling himself a marxist-leninist-vantasist which like  
DAVE: no offense babe but your milquetoast socdem politics are not anywhere near those guys and thats not even really an insult  
DAVE: i mean fuck im no marxist thats some outdated economic theory  
DAVE: we live in a post scarcity society albeit one rapidly becoming scarce thanks to corporate politics but like  
DAVE: violent revolution isnt gonna solve anything  
DAVE: yknow what happened last time there was a violent revolution  
KANAYA: The Signless Got Himself Hung By Searing Hot Cuffs And Filled With Arrows While Massive Numbers Of Lowbloods Were Culled By The Government In A “Retaliatory Measure” That Had A Lasting Impact On The Severity Of The Caste System  
DAVE: i was gonna say the soviets got into power but yeah ok thats a better example  
DAVE: the point im trying to make is that parallel institutions are important and beneficial to our society  
DAVE: theres a lot to be learned from de leon  
DAVE: dude had some crazy good ideas and hes seriously improved on marxist theory  
DAVE: even in a society such as ours parallel institutions have some mad merit you gotta admit  
KANAYA: I Think It Should Be Reiterated That I Have Yet To Become Acquainted With Any Of Your Human Economists  
KANAYA: The Only Difference Between Them Seems To Be Their Amount Of Facial Hair  
DAVE: okay listen human leftist theory is actually extremely relevant and influential an-  
JUNE: dave, c'mon. name one way marx and engels differed apart from their beards.  
DAVE: ...   
DAVE: fuck you egbert  
JUNE: :B  
KANAYA: Darling You Cannot Just Say Colon B To Communicate The Emotion Of A Toothy Grin  
JUNE: i can, and i will! :B  
DAVE: you two are adorable but also im talking about some serious shit here  
DAVE: were literally gods if the batterwitch is gonna take action then for fucks sake we gotta too  
KANAYA: Is It Not Insensitive To Compare Someone To Their Dictatorial Great Grandmother  
DAVE: kanaya no offense but she is literally trying to limit the reproductive rights of your entire species i have basically zero sympathy for her  
KANAYA: Fair  
DAVE: so this is mostly a call to action for our friends who i know listen to this podcast  
DAVE: and also a fuck you to jane  
DAVE: we gotta help the people build-  
JUNE: dave, dude. did you seriously just come on here to plug your not-for-profit socialist direct action group.  
DAVE: maybe  
DAVE: or maybe i just wanted to hang with my cool sister-in-law and her girlfriend who is also my childhood/current best friend and past crush before i knew she was a girl  
DAVE: damn do you ever think about how complicated our interpersonal web is like how the fuck is that supposed to work.  
JUNE: dave, that is literally the entire point of our podcast. the very thing we talk about every week.  
KANAYA: Yeah Dave Do You Even Listen To This  
DAVE: im literally the one who does your audio im obligated to listen  
DAVE: i mean i tune out most of the words because its weird to hear my pseudo family members flirting with each other in front of millions of people who worship them as gods but yknow i tend to get the gist regardless of if i want to  
KANAYA: Rude  
JUNE: yeah, dave, rude! we put up with your shit with karkat when we’re at your house!  
DAVE: yeah but theres only two of us theres three of you lesbos and so it just ends up bein too much to handle  
DAVE: threes company but like for everyone else  
DAVE: its the opposite of the sitcom yallre laughin it up living your best lives while the rest of us are over here moaning and groaning  
DAVE: its absolutely sickening how happy you are get it out of my face  
JUNE: dave, we haven’t met up in person in like a week.  
DAVE: my metaphorical face june cmon  
DAVE: damn youve gotten me so off topic  
DAVE: i mean i know thats a habit of mine but like for fucks sake youre dragging me way off course  
DAVE: im out here in the bermuda triangle getting shipwrecked on the way to the new world  
DAVE: do we even have a bermuda triangle on earth c  
DAVE: i mean we still have bermuda so probably  
DAVE: goddammit this is not what the people need to hear  
DAVE: ok im just gonna start from the beginning so yknow what i was saying about direct act-  
KANAYA: Hold On Dave We Appear To Be Having Some Sort Of Disturbance In Our Communication  
KANAYA: (June Go Unplug The Ethernet Cord)  
JUNE: oh yeah, dave, we can barely hear you. could you speak up, please?  
DAVE: oh goddammit this is the third time this week i cant believe your internet always starts to act up when we get to the good shit  
DAVE: i mean come on im preaching revolutionary theory here they could start talking about striderism in the streets  
DAVE: striderist in the streets just strider in the sh-  


The audio cuts out.  


JUNE: oh thank god.  
KANAYA: Yes That Was Insufferable  
JUNE: dave, on the incredibly small off chance that you are listening to this, we are very sorry.  
KANAYA: Im Not Particularly Sorry  
JUNE: i, at least, am very sorry. however, we don’t want to get our show banned in the other half of the human kingdom.  
KANAYA: Maybe We Should Get Those Open Communication Laws Sorted Out At Some Point In The Next Hundred Sweeps  
JUNE: ugh, you sound just like dave.  
JUNE: but yeah, we’re kind of awful gods.  
KANAYA: Pretty Terrible Yes  
JUNE: oh, shit, we’re still recording. uh, okay, that’s it for today folks!   
JUNE: thanks again for making us the number one podcast! it means a lot that you keep us far above dirk’s show.  
KANAYA: I Always Thought The Entire Point Of A Show Such As This Was For There To Be Conversation Or Perhaps A Narrative But Dirk Just Seems To Ramble To Himself With The Confidence And Bravado That He Must Carry Into His My Little Hoofbeast Conventions  
JUNE: pfft, yeah. if you’ve got any more info on dirk’s little obsession, please let us know! pics would be appreciated.  
KANAYA: Wait A Minute  
JUNE: what’s wrong?  
KANAYA: You Got Off Scot Free  
JUNE: huh???  
KANAYA: Your Failure In Todays Competition Remember  
JUNE: aw, fuck. and i was so close, too. i mean, not that i had any actual real memory of the contest until five seconds ago, but still.  
KANAYA: I Think Ill Text Dave And Let Him Know Youre Willing To Shoot His Next Video Essay  
JUNE: oh my god. kanaya, no.  
JUNE: that shit takes days.  
JUNE: and he doesn’t shower or go outside, either. have you seen the end of his last video? he looks like he’s been through a war.  
KANAYA: Yes I Briefly Considered That It Might Be Very High Quality Makeup But Then I Remembered Dave Would Never Put That Much Effort Into Something So Genuine  
KANAYA: It Is For That Exact Reason I Am Sentencing You To This Task  
KANAYA: Perhaps Next Time You Shall Think Twice Before Enforcing Some Sort Of Strange News Dynamic On Our Show  
KANAYA: Maybe Youll Even Think Three Times  
JUNE: well, that has to wrap things up, then.  
JUNE: see you all in hell, which is where i’ll be for the next week.  
KANAYA: Ill Miss You Darling  
JUNE: yeah, yeah.  


The podcast ends. You let out a sigh. The Herculean task is over- you’ve caught all the way up on the podcast you only recently caved into listening to. You feel as though you’ve melted into the couch- it must have been hours since you last got up. June and Kanaya’s words almost seem to bounce around your head, narrating your thoughts. That’d be silly, though. Someone you know narrating things to you, manipulating how you see the world? A preposterous concept. It probably wouldn’t even make a good story.  


Huh. You feel as though you’ve somehow pleased and enraged thousands of people, universes away. How strange. Oh, well.  


After riding that oddly specific train of thought halfway to the station, you hear the door open. Seems she’s finally back.  


JUNE: oh my god. that was a disaster.  


You smile.  


ROSE: Was it truly that dreadful?  
JUNE: oh god, rose, you have no idea. and all for-  
ROSE: For slipping up during your poor parody of “The Colbert Report,” yes. I’m finally caught up.  


June’s face lights up. Her teeth peek out in a timid yet energetic grin.  


JUNE: you listened to all of them????  
ROSE: Every single one.   
JUNE: even-  
ROSE: Yes, June, even the one where you’re trying to do the musical episode from Buffy.  
ROSE: You know, you weren’t even that off-key.  


She blushes.  


You gesture to the spot next to you.  


ROSE: Kanaya’s still out at the caves- we’ve got the whole couch to ourselves. Care to join me?  


June lets out a sigh.  


JUNE: more than anything.  


**Author's Note:**

> hey, thanks for reading! it really means a lot that you stuck it out through my projecting onto my favourite characters. if you liked this, you should check out my other two fics posted at the time of writing (and any future stuff i post after this, wow.) if you're so enamoured by my style of writing and my charming personality, you've got a lot of options! you can always follow me on  twitter, where my handle is @mayrosemary_ , or  tumblr, where my handle is @mayrosemary!  i also run a (currently quite small!) discord server called  Dubiously Non-Canon , which is just a place for general homestuck discussion. you can tell it's important because i capitalised the letters! links are all clickable there. i'm just an HTML master like that. didn't take me thirty minutes or anything.
> 
> edit: those links don't work oops just use this link to get to the discord:  
https://discord.gg/MEJsaqa


End file.
